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FEMALE PRAYER:

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong, one who loves to listen long, one who thinks before he speaks, one who says he'll call and won't wait weeks.

I pray that he be gainfully employed. When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to "How big's my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end, and never attempt to hit on my friend.

And as I kneel and pray by my bed, I look at the creep you sent me instead.

Amen.

MALE PRAYER:

Lord, I pray for a nympho with huge boobs who owns a liquor store.

Amen.